Heart Freaky

I do this crazy thing.  I have a reminder set up on my phone for 11:11 am and 11:11 pm.  At those times, there's a little, happy 'ding' and the reminder reads 'Heart Freaky'.  Why yes, this is an example of Siri not understanding me.  But, I don't blame her, a lot of flesh and blood ears do not know the word 'Reiki' either.  I wanted the reminder to say 'Heart Reiki', but now that it says 'Heart Freaky' I laugh every time, and it's an even better reminder.  I'm not going to go into a long explanation about what Reiki is, you can go here for that. But, I will tell you that I am a Reiki Master (oooooo) and that I do practice Reiki daily.  This particular reminder was to remind me to send some heart centered Reiki to a dear friend who recently had a heart attack.  I'm usually awake at both 11:11's, so I figured it was a good time, and often I get to do it twice!  

Today, when the chime dinged, I was at the grocery store with my four-year-old, finding the items that matched the coupons he had helped me clip earlier.  A treasure hunt in the store.  I have several other reminders on my phone, so sometimes 'Heart Freaky' still surprises me.  It did today.  In the middle of dodging the tiny shopping cart (ankles, beware!) and letting my helper know that no, we were not going to buy a 16 pack of juice boxes, DING! I glanced at my watch.  11:11.  I stopped, took a slow, deep breath, placed my hand over my heart and just sighed.  My own heart felt heavy.  He who made me laugh so hard I peed, Robin Williams, has gone on.  He had heart disease, heart surgery, depression and addictions.  He, after all, was human. 

My big guy shouting "MOM!" from around the corner, brought me out of my reverie, but I revisited it tonight.  Tonight at 11:11, I was watching "Hook" with my two eldest children.  In the scene where Peter (played beautifully by Robin) was trying to fly by thinking happy thoughts, the tears started coming and did not stop.  I tried to hug my giant firstborn, my son, the pirate.  He resisted, but I still hugged on.  My husband stopped the movie, waiting for me to stop crying.  The poignancy, the irony, the beauty of it all. 

It all got me thinking.  We all need love.  Love, sweet love.  I'm going to continue with my Heart Freaky.  Yes, it's still directed at the original friend, but I have lots to give, so I'm just going to keep giving, blowing a big love bubble to everyone.  Who wants to join me???  Here's my practice, just for an example:

HEART FREAKY

(set a reminder for 11:11, (our your fave time) am and pm)

(promptly forget about it)

When the alarm rings,

STOP

Breathe in, deeply.

Breath out, slowly

(If you are able) Rub your hands together until they're warm

Place them over your heart

Feel your heart beating

Breathe deeply and feel the warmth of your hands over your heart

Focus your minds eye or the person/people/planet you'd like to send love to.

Breathe in and out deeply, continuing to hold your focus for 3 or more cycles of breath.

Now take one more deep breath, into your heart space, receiving.

August is upon us.

The weather is warm,
The water is sweet,
Come to the edge,
Dip your feet.
August blazing
Noontime sun
Azure sky,
Clouds, not one.
Soak it in
And soak it up
Summers in,
Fill your cup.

Still Mindful, just quiet and dirty, and healing.

Over the past week we have had several interesting and sometimes dramatic and tearful talks with our big kids about the role of media in our lives.  Being 'wired' as we are, because of my husband's job as a computer programmer (and his love of Apple products), we do have our share of media toys: computers, ipad, ipod, iphone.  However, from the time that they were small, we have limited our children's exposure and time with these devices.  We do not have a functional television.  Although, as my three-year-old keeps reminding me, we do have a TV--a giant, state of the art (for 20 years ago) beastie of a thing that we let go of, and it came back to us, much like a boomerang. I think we're keeping it around for a take-apart project.  It sits in the office/library, the elephant in the corner, mostly off, or sometimes with photos cycling through of all of our adventures together, so that the children can comment on how crappy the resolution is.  When we watch movies, it's usually on my laptop, propped on the piano bench in the living room.  And until the last couple of years, movie watching was pretty rare, too.
However, things are changing.  Oh, they are changing.  Bodies are changing, skin is changing, attitudes are changing, and the desire to watch more stuff on screens is growing, especially as our previously homeschooled children come in contact with 'the real world', public school, and friends who often have grown up with screens being an ever-present part of their lives--who can't even imagine a home without a TV (that works).
There are things we love about our access to media--we watched an awesome TEDtalk tonight:
Boyd Varty talks about Ubuntu
Last week, during Hanukkah we FaceTimed with our friend while she read us The Channukah Guest and we ate latkes.  Gosh, that was lovely.
And then, there are the things we don't like--Mama gets sucked in, friends come over with their new toys and children forget that there were ever craft projects, or imaginative play, or building projects or anything, besides "The Glowing Rock" so called after another of our beloved books, The Wretched Stone, By Chris Van Allsburg

Sigh.  We knew this day would come eventually, and here it is.  We haven't had many struggles with media, and now we are.  Welcome to the club, huh?
In the interest of integrity, I  unplugged for a few days, just felt what it was like to not be constantly looking at my phone (why?) and removed my computer from the kitchen, pulled out some of my many homemade gift projects and spent time just being.  It was refreshing.
And then, the pipes froze and we had no water for 2 days.  Wow!  That'll make you appreciate water.  I am aware that many people spend much of their day in the acquiring of water.  In order to actually have any water, all I had to do was drive to the store and fill up my big 3 gallon bottle.  I did not have to walk for miles and carry the water by myself.  Oh water, how much I take you for granted!  
I also tend to take my family's and my own health for granted.  As several loved ones fight much bigger health battles this winter, our little flu bug hardly seems worth mentioning.  However, when it's bad enough to put folks in bed or on the couch for days, it certainly makes me realize how seldom we are sick.  More garlic, more elderberry, more tea, more essential oil, and more enjoyment of this healthy life--to these things, I raise my glass (of cider vinegar infused water!).

Mindful of...complaint, channelling Ma Ingalls.

I like to think of myself as a naturally happy person.  I'm pretty upbeat, the perennial cheerleader. 

I sometimes have very little patience with the complaints of my children or even other people.  I am a believer in the philosophy that complaining is sort of like wishing for more of the same--like attracts like.  And yet.... today I am not feeling so well.  The cold/cough that three of my children have gone through in long stints over the last few weeks is trying to attach itself to me.  I spent five minutes under the covers feeling sorry for myself and then thought, "What would Ma do?" 

 No, the REAL Ma!

Ma Ingalls, that is.  (Nice beard, Pa!) Ma would NOT be in bed with covers over her head.  She'd have been up at dawn stoking the fire made out of twisted hay, or corn cobs or whatever, and gently rousing her children to get up and get their days started, too.  I'm sure she had the crud occasionally, and having done some research a couple years ago when all of us got the flu (me-pregnant), I'm pretty sure her medicine would have included some of these things:  garlic, ginger, bone broth, elderberries, nettles, apple cider vinegar.  She may have had a slower day, relying on her older children to take care of the younger.  If it was not The Long Winter (or maybe if it was), and it was warm enough, she would probably just take some time and knit some nice red mittens to surprise a wee one on Christmas morning.  Oh, I already feel better just thinking about wee ones and mittens.  See, that wasn't so hard, was it?  Today, I'm gonna be mindful of when my mind turns toward complaint, and see if I can redirect it.  Thanks, Ma. 
P.S.  I am making this right now:
Spicy Cold Killer
And doing several of these:
Natural Remedies for colds from Wellness Mama
And also making bone broth wellness soup with my Thanksgiving turkey bone broth, burdock, ginger, garlic, onions, leeks, parsnips and probably other things.  Mmmmmmm.
Here's to a better day.

Not much sleep = I've nearly lost my mind(fulness) = a day of YES.

I often blame the full moon for insomnia, but last night was a new moon night.  I awoke when my night owl of a hubby came to bed, and could not get back to sleep for anything.  I drank some tea, trolled FaceBook for interesting bits, and finally decided to meditate.  Oh monkey-mind of mine, thank you for chattering incessantly for hours.  Fast forward to 7:00 when I have to be a real person, a real mom.  Thank goodness for kids who know how to make their own lunches and breakfast.
Today I'm putting my mind on my mouth again... this time to make sure that it says 'yes' to more.  And, also on my attitude.  Yes, we can be silly, yes we can read another story.  Yes I can clean up the kitchen even though I don't want to.  Yes it will all be okay.  Yes it already is.

My Heart is in my Hands

As a mom, my hands are in constant motion and use.  And yet, I'm mostly unconscious of them.  Bringing some consciousness into my hands helps me to remember what amazing tools they are.  One of the ways I have done this is through dancing in my Nia classes.  My instructor is often giving different prompts for using our hands in unique ways:  Desire finger (index), Commitment finger (ring), etc.  Learning about the different properties of the fingers definitely challenges me to keep an open mind--I find myself thinking, "Oh, they're just fingers."  But then I am amazed by how different I feel when I've actually worked consciously with my fingers.  I've had the same experience when working with mudras in yoga and meditation.  Today, I simply want to be conscious of my hands, as they pet the animals, as they wash each other, as they chop vegetables, as they hold a small one across the street, as they play holiday piano music, as they knit and as they are still. 
Here's also a lovely hand meditation that Sounds True sent in the weekly update a couple weeks ago:
Hand Meditation with Jack Angelo.

Just Breathe

The first time I took a yoga class.  It was in Santa Cruz, in a beautiful, huge, wooden floored room.  The instructor had a very airy, floaty voice, consistent with my imagination of what a yoga teacher might sound like.  (Except for the fact that my real first yoga teacher, Lilias, who taught me yoga after Sesame Street did not talk like that.)  During sivasana, final relaxation, we focused our breathing to all of the different parts of our bodies, and I found that I could really send my breath down to my toes.  Prior to that, I had mostly thought of my breath as a tool for helping me sing, if I thought about it at all.

Breathing is that unconscious function that keeps us going--and also that conscious action that can bring us back to our true selves.  Over the past year, I have become a more consistent with my meditation practice.  Starting or ending each day (or both!) with some focused breathing time has reminded me to use my breath as a tool throughout my day.  I have made little reminders around the house with just one word, "BREATHE" on them, and sometimes, these little reminders help me from going apoplectic (our vocab word for the week) over little things when it's 6:30 and dinner is not on the table, and the toddler has not had a nap and is howling and drumming on anything he can find, and homework help is needed in two directions for two different subjects, and the dog is barking at invisible foes, and. and. and...... BREATHE.... ahhhhh.  A respite from the world that I can make for myself in one second.  Today, I remember to breathe.